I don't know why I blog, I cant write to save my life. When I proof read my blog I feel like I am reading something a 8yr old wrote. AAHH oh well not many people read this anyway and I mostly keep it to keep family and friends updated on how our girls are doing. Anyways, in 8 days we will be in BEAUTIFUL Colorado for vacation. I haven't been back home for just about a year and I realize just how much I miss where I call home. I miss of course my family, but I also miss the blue skies, the smell of the farm, I miss waving to people I pass because we all know each other in our small town. I miss being around people who have known me all my life as well as my family. I miss how friendly everyone out west is and how much happier people out west seem to be. So many people here seem uptight and hurried by life to the point of blunt rudeness. I miss seeing flat land!! even as unappealing that sounds but I love being able to see for miles and miles when I look in any direction. I miss going to places that my grandparents took my sister and I when we were little kids but I do love the fact that we can now take our kids to the same places and hope that those memories stick with them as they did with us. There's just so much I miss but where we are is ok too, we are able to take our kids to lots of fun places and we have many chances to make sweet memories for our kids. I know that probably here soon things will change and going "home" wont really be home anymore, it will become a place we use to know and love but wont ever be the same again. I just hope our kids will save at least a few memories of what their mommy's new as their home. Going home now is just Bittersweet, I'm ecstatic to go home and see my grandma and her house and relax but at the same time I don't want to go cause I don't want to be reminded that things wont be like this for very long and there will be a day that when we go home we wont have our grandma there to welcome us. I guess however this is part of life, death is life, and life is death. I wish I could keep all our past memories in a lil bottle and relive them from time to time. 

UUggh ok no more whinning and reminiscing. I will post some new pics of our girls and when we get back from Colorado Gracie will have her 2 yr check up, oh and Gracie's birthday is on April 25th she will be obviously two years old, I just cant believe how fast two yrs have gone by. I'm sure we will have a birthday party for 4 since we have no family in this state lolol but it will be great to watch her blow her candle out!

So this year I have decided to splurge a lil bit. As of today I am the proud, very proud owner of these two new items:

1. Nikon D3000 10MP Digital SLR Camera with 18-55mm f/3.5-5.6G & 55-200 AF-S DX VR Nikkor Zoom Lenses

2. 2005 Buick Rendezvous

I am very excited and proud of myself that I have come this far from where I was. I can provide a nice life for my family and not be completely broke and its a  wonderful feeling. I know these are just material things but it sure does enhance our quality of life. I dont think I'll be making anymore big purchases for awhile so I am going to savor these new things. Also I have thought of possibly taking a photography class and see where that might take me. Well I am sure I will be posting tons of new pics and I hope you all enjoy them.

Christmas this year was great! Jaylene and Gracie got everything they wanted and more. Jaylene had asked for some Aeropostle sweatshirts and a family fued game for her DS and of course a cell phone (prepaid). She didnt put the cell phone down at all christmas day. As for Gracie she got a very own play kitchen, which by the way took 3hrs to put together!!! She also got a talking broom, and a lil shopping cart which was also a very big hit. All in all it was a good christmas. However the weekend following christmas was not so good. It started with gracie puking all over her Auntie Jo and continued to puke everywhere all night long, the next day she didnt want to eat, drink, sleep she just sat in my lap and cuddled. I thought all was better that night but I was wrong because just as we got gracie to bed - Jaylene runs to the bathroom puking, then the next morning it was auntie and I's turn of puking, cold sweats, body aching hell! Thank goodness gracie was a good girl for us on monday she did very well entertaining herself. I think she knew that we were all sick. Finally tuesday evening we all were feeling better and I could finally go to work on wednesday. Thats it in a nutshell, I will post some pics as soon as I can. I think we just did video instead of pics but I'll double check - I hope everyone had a great christmas and has an even better New year!!!

I was bored at work and was browsing random people's blogs on Blogspot and I came across this poem and I think its pretty much perfect in how alot of us mothers feel most of the time.

Mother's Prayer

Dear Lord, it's such a hectic day,

With little time to stop and pray,

For life's been anything but calm,

Since you called on me to be a mom.

Running errands, matching socks,

Building dreams with building blocks.

Cooking, cleaning, and finding shoes,

And other stuff that children lose.

Fitting lids on bottled bugs,

Wiping tears and giving hugs.

A stack of last week's mail to read,

So where's the quiet time I need?

Yet when I steal a minute Lord,

Just at the sink or ironing board,

To ask the blessings of your grace,

I see then in my small one's face,

That you have blessed me all the while,

As I stop to kiss that precious smile.

...Author Unknown

So a few new things... I got all 4 of my wisdom teeth pulled on friday the 13th (great timing) and my sister got swine flu the same week and I had to find a babysitter for gracie. Despite all of that we are doing great now. I feel so much better now that I dont have my wisdom teeth - before I had a constant headache 24/7 but now I can wake up and feel great, not like someone bashed me in the head with a hammer. I cant believe thanksgiving is next week - Grandpa Brad and Janet are coming to celebrate with us on the 26th and stay for the weekend. It will be alot of fun for the girls. We also managed to get some semi-pro pics done, Gracie did an awesome job she smilied on que and was happy to have her pic taken. The pics really did turn out great for all of us. Other than that I finally got my apt decorated and curtains hung, and it actually feels like a home now rather than a bare apt. Gracie is just getting to be such a big girl and it makes me so sad that she is growing so fast, I wish I could pause time. I especially love our morning routine, she wakes me up and we get a bottle and turn on Baby Macdonald and snuggle. She is saying mama alot now and can for the most part say yes or no to a question. Her sleeping thru the night is getting better as well - for the most part she sleeps all night. Now the next task at hand is to rid her of the binkie! 

Well Gracie went in for her Well Check up today and weighed in at 23lbs and 30in tall. She is within the 25th to 50th percentile for her age group. She has a lil bit of an ear infection still and also got her Hep A and Flu Shot :(  As far as her sleeping (or lack there of) she has gotten worse over the past few days. The day before yesterday she was awake from 11pm to 4am and last night up from 4am to 10:30am. I tried leaving her to cry but that seemed to only make things worse so finally at 6am I gave up and let her out of her crib and I turned her baby einstein to entertain her while I slept on the couch. I thought for sure as she got older she would start sleeping better but it seems as though there is some great force out there punishing me for all the bad things I have done in my life or at least it feels that way. My wish for christmas would be to have gracie sleep all night, every night but at this point it seems that would warrant a miracle rather than a simple wish.  As far as how Im doing, I got my tarot cards read this past saturday and well the cards say that I am surrounded by money (4 money cards) and told me that basically I'm being lazy and that If I want money and fortune then its all up to me, that its there waiting for me if I make the decision to not be lazy and think outside the box...hhmmm He also mentioned he saw a move could not clarify if it meant physically moving to another place, state or move in some other sense.. however he told me that I should talk to my friends that I have known for a very long time cause they are there for me and might help give me some new ideas. He also mentioned that there is one friend that needs to tell me something and that I should reach out to friends I havent talked to in awhile. Im not sure how much of that is accurate but what the hell I got a free birth chart for gracie lolol

   Well last night was even better than the night before. Gracie only woke up twice because she couldnt find her pacifier. I went in found it gave it to her and gave her a hug and kiss and each time she cried for about 2 mins after I closed the door but that was all. Also she slept til around 830am. So I am thinkin we are getting this down pat finally. She is a very stubborn and spoiled child so Im hoping other big events like potty training, the taking away of the pacifier are not as hard as I think they will be.

   Today I am working an early shift so I can be home to take the family to Trunk or Treat (I think thats what they called it) at my sister's church. I made the mistake of buying gracie a 20's Flapper costume not thinking that we live in New York and it will probably be freezing so therefore a dress is not that good of an idea for a halloween costume. So I am dressing her in her Flapper costume for this event which I believe is inside (I hope). I figure Ill just go to walmart or target and spend $15 on an outfit that is warm and snuggly for the real Trick and Treating event, but knowing my luck it will be 50 degrees out that night.

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